The Journey

Last Day At College



Well, the time came round quicker than I thought, my last day at College. I had a bizarre last week, it seemed to go really quickly, but the embarrassing part was when I was telling a group of students off for using the printer, in a lesson that I knew didn't need any work printing out. At the end of the lesson, they presented me with a homemade card that they had made and printed in the lesson, so apologies for shouting and thanks for the sentiment girls, you know who you are. I also got a couple of cards from individual students and tutors, including one card that was the size of my briefcase, which was very touching and filled with nice sentiments. 1 friend even took the time to go and buy me a book that he thought I would like, so far I do like the book and really appreciate the thought and effort. The staff had a whip round and signed 2 cards for me, which I haven't completely read yet, but will do so when this stupid jet lag clears. I'm writing this at 5:15 in the morning. Any way the whip round came to a substantial amount of money which I thought I would use to buy myself something to remember the college by, can't be too difficult to buy for me I thought, I wonder why they didn't.

Manchester Airport

At the airport, it was announced that my first flight to Dubai was delayed by 2 hours ARGHHH!!!

They have this scheme at Manchester Airport, whereby if your flight is delayed by 2 hours or more, the airline will give you a voucher for a meal or refreshments, 7 pounds and 50p which I splashed out on a baked potato and a cup of coffee, My next dilemma was: "What to do with the change" eventually I decided to put the 2p into the charity box, just to show the kind and gentle nature that I have developed.


I then realised that this was a perfect opportunity to look round duty free and buy myself something from the college. The problem was that most of the shops in duty free were shut, I could have bought a load of magazines and books, but once they were read, they would just sit on a shelf and not get looked at, what i wanted was something i would use often. No problem, I thought, Dubai has an awesome duty free shop, full of electronics, which would suit a geek like me down to the ground.

Time for the flight (Emirates Airlines), the first flight was supposed to be 7 and a half hours, not a problem, the seats were comfy and the seat next to me was vacant, so I could spread out a bit, there were 350 film channels to choose from and 500 TV programs and 150 audio channels playing full albums, radio shows interviews etc. The food was awesome and the seats were really comfortable, for anyone that knows how big I am, then you will appreciate that this is no mean feat.

Arrival at Dubai Airport ( or should that be Arrival @ Dubai Airport)

Early morning in Dubai, step out of the plane into baking heat, onto the cattle bus that takes us into Dubai Arrivals, I have a couple of hours to look around the airport, which has an abundance of shops but I headed for the electronics shop, did I mention that I was a geek? (if you don't believe me have a look on my front page of Myspace for my geek score.) Well, they had everything a geek could possibly want, digital cameras, lenses for digital cameras, cases for lenses for digital cameras, backpacks that housed cases with lenses for digital cameras, camcorders, MP3 players, laptops, portable hard drives, the problem was that this geek had already got everything he needed in that department. I'm beginning to see why they just gave me the money, I realised just how hard I was to shop for.

So insatiable appetite for electronic consumer goods unsated, I boarded the flight, this was a 10 and a half hour hour flight to Perth, this wasn't a problem, I was tired not having slept on the previous flight, I would just sleep for most of it. After watching a full length feature film that challenged my thoughts and ideals about how we treat the planet on which we live, I thought it was time to have a kip (UK time would be about 8:00 in the morning making it 24 hours without sleep to this point) just then they came around with the meals, I know I've sung the praises of Emirates before, but these meals were amazing, I could have inserted the usual tirade of banter against the quality of airline food, but I really would be doing an injustice to Emirates, their food was lovely, they also had a complimentary drinks service, any drink except champagne was free. So after the meal, time to put my head down and have a kip. The only problem was I had the recurring image of Homer Simpson singing "Spider Pig-Spider Pig: does whatever a spider pig does" That'll teach me to watch the Simpson's Movie just before I got to sleep.

So, a quick re-cap, get on board - watch a movie - have a kip, I woke up feeling totally refreshed, maybe with a little crick in my neck, but considering i was traveling peasant class on the airplane, I didn't think I was doing too bad. One of the TV channels on the airplane is a rolling status report on the flight, it displays where we are now, outside air temperature, ground speed, time and distance to destination, you could choose to watch this on the TV screen in the back of the chair in front of you or watch it on the big screen overhead in the aisles. I was watching this as I woke when I saw something I didn't like, it flashed up with time to destination of 7hrs and 20 minutes. Let me just repeat that, even though you are reading this in the form of a text document, I think it needs clarifying, I had watched a film, eaten a meal and had a kip and there was still about the same flight time as my first flight left to go.

Words cannot possibly describe how tedious the last portion of the flight was, but I will give it a go. Imagine, you have to sit in a chair, comfortable chair admittedly (did I say how comfortable the emirates airline's chairs were) then imagine you cannot wheel around on the this chair to other parts of the room. (note this applies to any of my students who are constantly told not to wheel about on the computer chairs, but somehow completely manage to ignore my requests) then you have to stay in that position until 7 and a half hours have passed, work out what time it will be in 7 and a half hours time (see I'm still making you do the maths) then realise that the person next to you is asleep, the person on the other side of the aisle to you is Arabic and doesn't speak English and imagine that the most exciting thing to happen to you is that you get to go to the toilet and hear the load crack as the water is sucked away into the bowels of the aircraft. The word Tedium doesn't even come close.

Arrival at Perth Airport

Yay, I've done it, I'm here at Perth International Airport, very little sleep, a couple of films watched, a bit of my book read and a few visits to the toilet and I'm here. When the plane comes to a halt all the passengers immediately get up out of their chair and rush to get their belongings from the overhead racks and sort out their clothes, hit the kids and generally do whatever they can to be off the plane as soon as possible. This is a behaviour that has always struck me as odd, because what happens is that people get squashed in the gangways, as the plane is never ready for immediate disembarkation. So they are stood in the gangways, looking flustered, I am sat in my chair waiting for the people to disperse then I casually get out of my seat and put on my shoes and grab my belongings and meander down the gangway to the plane exit, there is always a wait for the baggage to come round the carousel.

Australian Customs

I don't mean wearing cork hats or singing waltzing Mathilda, I mean the Immigration department. This is the third time I have entered the country so I'm feeling a bit Blase about the whole affair, I picked up my bag and head towards the immigration lines. I have with me a wooden pepper mill, which was a wedding pressy, this pepper mill was one of the things that got left behind when the removal men came and took the lot (well almost the lot). Each time I had been through customs before, I had not had any issues, so i wasn't expecting any this time, even though I was going through the RED CHANNEL I was of course declaring my wooden pepper mill. I was quite cheery as the red channel was very short, only about six people in it, and the GREEN CHANNEL had everyone else off the airplane. this would be a doddle, I thought, as about 100 green people went through to every 1 red person, Oh dear I thought, have I made a big mistake? as I saw people being lead away from the main customs desk to little room to the side where I could hear the sounds of rubber gloves being snapped on.

I was one of the last few people to the desk and showed the guy the pepper mill. He said, "Oh is that all." he had a quick look through the case and wished me a pleasant stay in Australia.

My last step was to enter the arrivals lounge where I would be jumped on and adored by my wife and kids, the doors slid open..........
I went though...........
I waited..........
I coudn't see anyone running towards me to give me my due adoration, I could just see the very blurred outline of my wife who had tried to get the kids up to come to the airport but failed miserably, apparently I wasn't a big enough draw to them to warrant disturbing a good nights sleep at 2:30 in the morning. Michelle, the greatest wife I've had so far, has been an inspiration, she has come here all alone, 9 months ago to start the adventure without me, she has sought a house, started her career, bought an awesome car, took the kids on board, fed them, schooled them, entertained them and generally been an all round super human while I've been back in England doing none of that, I just thought that at this point in the story it is worth pointing out that I owe so much to Michelle for starting this venture. So there I was wife in arms about to embark on the single greatest adventure of my life (I hope) becoming an Australian. Time now to stop blogging and go and check on my Emirates shares.

Click on the picture for the larger version

Taken very early in the morning, overlooking the bonnet of my car and the swan river.
Till the next Blog, when I'll hopefully be putting some more pictures up, and if anyone has any ideas about what I could buy with my leaving present money, then suggestions will be welcome.
Ian